


Wrong focus

by Beryllium_Astatine



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Autistic Character, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Words Unsaid, i hate them, ppl need to USE THEIR WORDSSSSS, relationships are hard, satya is... well whatever she is, sombra is oblivious as fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-05-05 07:58:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14613420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beryllium_Astatine/pseuds/Beryllium_Astatine
Summary: Words are difficult when you don't know how to say them.





	1. Chapter 1

It was incredible how sweet she looked when she was like that, sitting cross-legged in front of her many screens. Focused, alert like a meerkat. Waiting for her coding and meddling to deliver some results, impatient, as if they were needed yesterday. Looking intently at blank webpages and black command prompts filled with orders; at numbers and lines of code neatly set on an engine, all perfectly quiet - except for the cursor that gave evidence to  the loading time. A small circle, spinning, spinning. A small circumference deep in Sombra’s retinas.

Satya thought she looked lovely.

She knew better than to interrupt, of course. People would whisper around that she worked too much, but Sombra worked literally all the time. Those enhancements of hers kept her online, connected, fed  every little input. She worked awake and asleep, relaxed and tense, only adjusting the influx of data, but never ever damming the river. Satya often wondered if that meant she was distracted even when they made love, or if she blocked it off at those times. That doubt bothered her more than she was willing to admit. She scrunched her nose at the unpleasant reminder and turned her back on Sombra, adjusting on her bed.

She’d have to ask Sombra about that some other time. Yes. That’d be the best course of action.

She scolded herself for using the term “course of action”. That was no good; she needed to relax. And after some breathing exercises Satya felt herself falling asleep.

Strange dreams came to visit her that night. Something about being younger - about being laughed at - about running to reach a train. Something about being helpless, and feeling everything she touched turn to ribbons. Sombra laughed as she disappeared under Satya’s touch - both her arms were flesh - and the sound of Sombra’s purple pulse rang in her ears and blinded her behind her eyelids --

“Sombra!” she sat up on the bed at once, digging her right arm into the mattress to keep her balance, but failing to remember her other arm was resting on the bedside. She toppled left and fell onto warm flesh.

“Ea, ea, Saty!” Sombra moved under her, trying to help her sit up again. “It’s okay! It’s okay!” Satya was still too disoriented to protest, but she did realize she had fallen on Sombra’s crossed legs. Why was Sombra sitting like that on the bed? Was she actively working from bed?

As soon as she regained balance and complete awareness of her surroundings, Satya mimicked Sombra’s pose, sitting primly in front of her and shaking her head slightly to keep strands from falling over her face. She stared at the other woman, registering what she saw.

Sombra had her hair damp, strands glued to her cheek (she liked to sleep with her hair damp, it wasn’t healthy); she was wearing an old black shirt with a band name she didn’t recognize (Sombra had told her it was a local band and she had briefly dated the drummer to get that shirt, Satya didn’t doubt her), and light yellow briefs (Satya was almost sure they were hers). She had two floating screens lifted, one showing a greenish pixelated pattern (Sombra liked flashing screens on her invasions at times, so _reckless_ at times) and the other showing a chronometer and 5 tabs flashing (people talking? Music playing? Satya couldn’t tell), and her hands were up with palms showing (Satya knew she was trying to look non-threatening to her, by instinct)

Sombra’s side of the bed was still made, so she had been on the computer until recently, but the screens were dim so Sombra had left them a while ago. For what reason had she been she sitting on the bed turned to Satya when the flash happened? Why did Sombra activate her EMP in the first place? Because Satya knew it wasn’t a dream, there had been a flash and if it wasn’t the EMP, it was something close to it. Sombra had an assortment of flashy purple effects and Satya tried to remember and classify all of them in her head, quickly, but her mind was still a little hazy so she didn’t push it further.

She at last turned her attention to Sombra’s face. She guessed it had been worried just now, but it was slowly returning to a more neutral expression, and lowered her hands. Neutral _what_ , Satya couldn’t yet tell.

“What happened?”, her voice came out hoarse and she remembered she was sleepy.

“I was adjusting the details from an attack and, ah, they had an _aggressive_ defense device. I had to counter it quickly and it flashed fast and bright on my screen. I’m sorry.” she pulled both screens down and made them disappear by snapping her fingers. “Didn’t mean to wake you up, let alone scare you.”

She sounded apologetic, but that somehow made Satya’s cheeks hot with anger. “You weren’t supposed to have those screens up on the bed.”

“I know but it was a quick little thing! I’m sorry.” she dedicated a smile - one of those adorable, puppy smiles - to Satya.

Who, in turn, said nothing, and laid down again, her back turned to Sombra.

Satya reduced Sombra to what she could perceive of her then. She heard the sheets moving and the bed creaking as Sombra adjusted herself under the covers. Soon, Satya only heard the sound of her lover’s breathing, and it was when she heard the first snore that she surrendered to hugging herself.

No words, not a single touch, backs turned, and Sombra was sleeping soundly. Satya wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but that was the worst outcome.

She’d have to talk to Sombra about all of that in the morning. Yes. She didn’t want to talk, and she felt like her lips had been sewn shut now, but she had to trust she would be able to in the morning.

About _what_ exactly, and _how_ , and even _why_ , she wasn’t certain, and that’s the reason she was trembling. But she had to trust she could do it, somehow, and for that she had to sleep.

She counted the items within her field of vision in the dark, classifying them in many different ways, so sleep would come. But in the back of her mind she saw Sombra, sitting straight in front of her computer, so focused, so lovely, her meerkat.

Satya wished she had been looking at _her_.

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How much does it take to talk?

Satya couldn’t talk to Sombra in the morning, because she didn’t find Sombra home in the morning. When she finally returned - from a meeting, freelance work apparently -, Sombra was all smiles and non-stop rambling about _Como el mercado estaba tan lleno, que siquiera era sábado_ , but she’d found masala, didn’t Satya want samosas?, while striding towards the kitchen area, and Satya saw her feeble intent to have a conversation die out in her lover’s bubbling laughter.

It wasn’t worth it, not when Sombra was humming some intelligible tune as she opened two floating screens to check her feeds while slicing potatoes. Her skin dimly glistened with sweat, as she opened every cabinet door looking for more ingredients. Satya’s heart fluttered like a little bird; she was so beautiful. So much fun. She’d brought her masala.

Later in the warm day Satya and Sombra were working quietly in the Dorado kitchenette, and the architect armed herself with valor to start a serious talk. It was the perfect time, Satya thought, and she got up from her hard light chair with a momentaneous inspiration that she was absolutely correct. But as she somehow - _somehow_ \- ended up straddling Sombra on the couch, purple nails digging and releasing the nape of Satya’s neck in tandem with the slow movement of their bodies and the dance of their lips and tongues and _How does she do_ **_that_ ** _? How does she_ **_do_ ** _that?_ , the moment was lost.

I wasn’t worth it afterwards, because Sombra was giggling and licking her fingers, and when she noticed Satya’s stare she just winked playfully. Something grasped Satya’s throat from the inside, and she felt the urge to cry, but she only leaned forward for a kiss. Sombra tasted like flowers and salt and Satya couldn’t resist her hand tracing downwards again. She had no right to ask for more.

The weight inside her gut became heavier every night, however, every time she sensed Sombra’s back turned to her in the bed. She carried her hand to her neck and pressed it lightly, rhythmically, a gentle reminder of her good luck. The weight ignored her affirmations.

 

* * *

 

Satya thought that maybe having to return to Utopaea would release her from her dread; there was always so much to do. Working for Vishkar as well as attending to Overwatch’s responsibilities, and while treading carefully around Sanjay so he wouldn’t know she knew, and keeping her guard up against everyone until it was due time - all of it was stressful and took an immense emotional toll on her. She hoped dedicating her time and attention to those matters would lighten the unease brought by her relationship, as at the very least work issues were clear to her.

Her calculations were correct, of course, for the most part. She had been assigned by Winston to overview a field operation that had Vishkar personnel involved, and the stress of the double load of attention and care made her work frantic and her slumber deep.

Unfortunately, she felt a pang behind her ribs every time Sombra sent her a message, or a picture, or some stupid video - and Sombra loved to chat. Satya was glad for Sombra’s attention, of course; that never changed. It now came accompanied, however, with a shot of guilt and tension, and Satya was constantly overwhelmed with those conflicting emotions. She started to respond less and less, excusing herself with work or other responsibilities, which Sombra seemed to understand completely. That didn’t free her from speaking to her lover every night before bed, though, and when they were done and Satya tried to sleep, the weight was back, heavy, inside her, like a lazy animal. And Satya whispered kind nothings to herself, did breathing exercises, counted the books on her shelf, and squeezed her neck gently, but the feeling wouldn’t leave, ever, at least until she fell asleep and woke up the next day to make herself busy.

Three weeks later, she was set to return to Dorado. Sombra sounded excited, teasing her with promises of food, dance dates, and sex. She always seemed delighted to see her, to cook for her, to take her and let herself be taken with a grin on her lips. She was always happy to have Satya around, even after all those months, and that was the first time Satya was at the end of that kind of affection. She was grateful for it. She couldn’t have asked for more.

So why was she was nearly choking herself instead of gently pressing her neck on the plane to Mexico?

 

* * *

 

“Hey, what are those?”

“Those what?”

“Your neck. It’s a bit bruised.” Sombra pointed at Satya’s neck, right behind her jaw, and also at a dark spot near her collarbone. “I didn’t know you liked self-breathplay, Saty.”

Satya blushed profusely and cursed in three languages inside her head, adjusting the bright orange scarf around her neck a little better. Sombra had picked her up at a plaza near Castillo, wearing customary flip-flops, shorts, a loose t-shirt, and 4 screens floating around her. Satya usually loved hearing that infectious laughter, even if she didn’t partake in it every time, but today she just wished the reason for it had been better concealed.

“No, really, you gotta - you gotta do it in a certain way, or you’ll get hurt.” Sombra was grinning mockingly, and Satya knew she wouldn’t get to live that one up. Great; if she could play it, no more questions would be asked. She just had to do it right and not look too uncomfortable. She cleared her throat and prepared her best smile.

"Would you be so kind to teach me then?” Right away she knew her intent of sounding seductive had failed, with her voice cracking and going a uncommon higher pitch. Sombra arched her eyebrows, dropping the joke and going on a ramble about a new programming language she had been learning. Satya was completely certain Sombra wouldn’t forget about the bruises and would try to return to the subject.

They hadn’t yet arrived home, and she was already in a pinch.

Sombra didn't try to talk about it again though. She had been cleaning her apartment and asked Satya to dust a few higher places she couldn't reach, and later ordered Chinese for them. She asked about Satya's job and talked about TV series she'd started watching and how there had been a gas leak the past week and world domination plans, all with floating screens all around, popping up and down as Sombra would seemingly type at random as she spoke.

Sombra’s mind raced, and her tongue wagged faster than her thoughts. Satya loved to follow her twisted logic, how an idea jumped to another and took a back street and landed in another thread. Running like a mouse: up and down, turn, hit a wall, twist, rebound; a delightful torrent of rambling Satya followed with a inner smile.

By the time dusk fell Sombra had managed to jump on her lap, kissing her teasingly during a chat about an analysis of taxation on monarchies. For a few blessed hours everything had been fine and perfect, and Sombra had just bit her lip during the kiss in that way that gave her chills and she felt her own leg moving to spread Sombra's thighs.

Sombra giggled in response, muttering something in Spanish Satya didn't catch, and dove deeper into the kiss. Satya caressed her sides and back methodically, playing the right spots to make her lover squirm, and allowed her own head to be pulled back to receive open-mouthed kisses down her neck. She was drowning into the familiar warmth of Sombra's touch, and it was all she wanted for rest of her life.

She soon realized, however, the kisses had stopped. She opened her eyes, ready to complain, and immediately froze. Sombra was staring down at the dark marks, her expression unreadable.

“What really happened, Saty?” she muttered in a low but clear voice. Her hand slowly left Satya’s waist and the architect felt tepid fingers brush lightly against the bruised skin, very lightly. “Will you tell me, please?”

Satya immediately slapped the hand away, digging her chin down against her collarbone, and instinctively tried to get from under the other woman. Sombra jerked backwards, almost losing her balance, but swiftly managing to leap to the floor while her girlfriend drew the legs against her chest.

“Is that a ‘no’?” All of a sudden those giggles weren’t cute to Satya anymore. They sounded restrained and fake and they were a very poor attempt to lighten the mood after what had just happened, and it was clear, and Satya _hated_ them.

She didn’t answer though; she felt her legs trembling slightly so she jumped from the couch and began pacing. She felt Sombra’s gaze on her, and she _hated_ it. She heard Sombra’s voice again - firm, this time - and she _hated_ it.

Gods, how could she hate everything that woman did when the same woman had her so completely enthralled a minute ago?

“Saty.” Sombra called. “Satya. Please come back here.” Sombra’s rare Serious voice, but no anger. Or maybe anger, because Sombra used her name, not a pet name. Satya didn’t know. She reached out for a glass on the sink and filled it with filtered water, agitated.

She heard Sombra drag her rolling chair near the couch, and its springs being compressed with weight. She wanted to come back to Sombra’s arms, but she couldn’t now. She wanted to run away.

But she couldn’t now, could she?

Satya swallowed the water and took a deep breath. Her feet dragged slowly from the brick tiles of the kitchen area back to where she was before - a cheap wooden floor, but a wooden floor anyway, with beautiful patterns from what a tree was before. By the time she reached the fabric (second-hand furniture, worn out, it felt thin and pleasant), she brought herself to sit down very carefully.

Sombra’s chair needed a few repairs too. One of the wheels wasn’t rolling properly and got stuck in the floor cracks often, like now. She knew because Sombra’s right foot was in an angle that suggested she’d tried to pull the chair even closer to the couch, but failed. Only now Satya noticed her nails were painted, and the nail polish was cracked in a few places. The other foot was up on the chair, of course, as Sombra would usually sit with a leg crossed in front of her. Was the nail polish cracked on the other foot too?

Satya knew she could fill an eternity of silence with mental remarks. She also knew Sombra wouldn’t let her.

“ _Cariño, ¿qué te pasa? _”

Satya lifted her head slightly, keeping her eyes locked downwards. Sombra huffed in exasperation.

“Saty, look, I know you can take care of yourself and all but you don’t do neck bruises. Given your dayjob isn’t wrestling and those ‘secret missions’ Vishkar still makes you do, the logical thing is to assume someone choked you during an infiltration.” Sombra shifted on the seat and her foot didn’t look as tense anymore. “And lemme tell you, finding your girlfriend with neck bruises isn’t nice. Gets you kind of worried. But having her kick you away when you ask about it is _really_ concerning.”

 _I didn’t kick you_ , Satya replied in her head while she brought a foot up the chair, leaving the right one on the floor and crossing the left one in front of her. She tucked it under her thigh and focused on the sensation for a moment.

“Saty.” Firm, low tone. Satya’s eyes finally met with her girlfriend’s and Sombra’s chest under the dark top was the only thing moving in her stern figure. “Did a coworker do that to you? That asswipe of a boss maybe?” Satya pursed her lips and Sombra’s eyes narrowed. “Did they do something to you? Something you’re ashamed of? ‘Cuz I swear, if anyone did so much as touch a _single hair_ on your head…”

“No.”

Sombra sat up straight. “No what? What happened?”

Satya took a deep breath, but barely felt it. Her eyes returned to Sombra’s legs. “I did this to myself. Not as a kink either. Lately when I get… stressed out... “ As if expecting that command, her arm reached the base of her neck and squeezed lightly. “I do this. Maybe I’ve been exaggerating on the pressure. I shall control my strength from now on.”

The beat of silence was expected, but Satya was hoping Sombra was going to let out a relieved laughter and a playful mockery afterwards. They never came. Both of them still had to _talk_.

“You’re… you’re hurting yourself, _linda_. I mean, if it makes you feel better, and nothing else does it for you… I just never saw that kind of thing in you before.” The black top moved diagonally, so Sombra was cocking her head and body while sounding intrigued. “What’s making you that stressed out?”

Satya felt her hand pressing her neck in an spasm, and Sombra shifted immediately, her arm reaching across the gap between them. Her hand stopped inches from Satya's, fingers stretched as if wanting to grab her wrist; but she recoiled instead.

_Why? Touch me. Please._

Satya whipped her head up to glance up to Sombra’s face, and her stomach turned at the sight of such pain and confusion in those purple eyes. Her hand still hovered, but she was clearly unsure of what to do. Satya felt anger once again, at her lover, at herself, at everything that got stuck in her _throat_...

Her eyes got foggy, stinging with weeks old unshed tears. She scolded herself; no crying now. She was pathetic enough as she was - stupidly curled on a cheap sofa, a hand on her neck, caught in the act. That buffoonery had stretched out for far too long; she should've said something earlier instead, when her fear shut her up. Now she was more scared than ever since the beginning of that relationship, one she cherished and wanted to develop. She would not make that mistake again.

“I-I’m,” Satya croaked, knowing there would be no turning back; she had to measure her actions carefully “I- I'd like to know what you're thinking right now.”

“What _I'm_ thinking?” Echoed Sombra, with a disbelieving huff. “Look, I'm trying to help you--”

“I know!” snapped Satya. Didn't she understand they needed to work this together? _No_ , her brain answered immediately. _How could she?_

Right. She couldn't. “I know,” Satya repeated, softly, as her face burned. “But I don't know how to tell you. That's how we got here. I didn't speak.” She swallowed, feeling the lump under the hand still on her neck, “please tell me what you're feeling and thinking right now. About… This.”

Sombra was quiet for a few seconds, scrutinizing Satya's face, but her posture relaxed slightly and she moved from the edge of her seat to a more comfortable position before speaking. She took a deep sigh and when she made eye contact again, Satya thought she had understood why that question had been made.

“You appeared here with a bruised neck and a poor excuse, after being overwhelmed with work for weeks.” She finally spoke, with a loud exhale. “You had never mentioned a thing, you seemed the same, so I didn't ask. Then we're making out and I see it and I remember and when you basically shove me off you like I have the plague and it’s awful, and my first idea is that's traumatic to you and I'm worried sick and planning to make that boss of yours eat his own eyes or something.” She paused to inhale dramatically. “And now you tell me you're self-harming due to stress and doing it wrong because you're leaving marks and it's a dangerous area and it's not the best way to cope with stress? And you’re _always_ stressed because of the juggling you do between Vishkar, Overwatch, and me so what's possibly pushing you over the edge? Is it Sanjay 'cause I can definitely do eyes thing, or… what? I'm worried, and I'm confused, so what should I do now? Even if I can't help, tell me? Please?”

Something about the way Sombra said “Please” after that exasperated speech made Satya's heart hurt more than anything. Tears came to her eyes again. **_How_ ** did she do that?

“Sombra,” she started, looking down and keeping her voice low so it wouldn't break. “I don't know very well how to put this into words, so please be patient.”

An anxious (or angry? Tired?) sigh. “Okay.” Satya heard her move on the chair again. She stopped abruptly. “Can sit on the couch by your side?”

 _Yes!_ “Not now.”

Sombra shrugged, crossing her leg as usual, and waited. Satya wanted to kick herself, but didn't move. She felt stupid. She wanted it all to stop.

Now she had to fix that the hard way.

“I… need to apologize,” each word seemed to drag on her throat, drying her mouth. “I should have said something before, but I… I just… didn't think it was necessary.” _Stupid stupid, stupid, it isn't necessary at all. Stop._ Satya shook her head and raised her head to face Sombra. “It was a mistake.”

Sombra had brought her other leg up the chair, holding her ankle, looking at Satya with attention. No screens were lifted, and her expression was serious and focused, a little tense, like she was waiting for something to happen at any moment.

 _Like a meerkat, staring at me_ , and Satya thought she looked _so_ lovely. Her voice got entangled on the way out and forced a sudden shiver through her body. Tears sprouted too fast for her to stop them from falling down her cheeks. As sobs beat the back of her throat she realized, too late, she had failed on her plan.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid woman, it wasn't necessary, how dare you ask for any more?_

She hadn't realized she had grabbed the base of her neck until that moment either; she let it go and moved her arm mechanically back to her lap, and tried to focus her teary gaze on it. Something moved from the sideways, and Sombra's head popped beside her knees. The hacker was kneeling in front of the couch, a foot away from the crying woman, her face a mask of legitimate worry.

Satya bit her lower lip so hard she thought she tasted blood. The sobs only became more violent.

“It's okay, _cariño_ , it's okay.” Cooed Sombra, stretching her arm tentatively to touch Satya's thigh. Satya heard the unease in her voice and wished with all her might that Sombra had never met her, that they had never become a couple, that she could have spared herself from that humiliation and Sombra - Sombra who actually never cared about relationships before - from this circus she had no idea how she got into.

Sombra couldn't know that, though, and Satya shivered with the contact but didn't flinch, so she decided to sit on the couch and gently put an arm around the architect. “Is this okay?” she muttered. Satya wanted to scream many different things but ended up just leaning against her lover's chest, bringing her own hands to cover her crying face as Sombra caressed her back.

When the sobbing subsided a little, Sombra reached for a rag somewhere in the shelf and handed it to Satya, who quickly cleaned her face and hands. The architect leaned her forehead against Sombra's shoulder and breathed deeply a few times before sitting back with eyes closed and hoping Sombra wouldn't pull her hand back from her thigh. She didn't.

There was a short silence, broken only by the typical noise of the city coming through the window. Somehow, the yellow lights in the room made the scene feel unreal to Satya when she opened her eyes. Too flat and mundane compared to the magic of the darkness outside, filled with mysterious sounds. Too dull and ridiculous.

“I have an idea.”

It took Satya a few seconds to leave her short trance.

“Let's talk… about someone else. Like, not Satya.”

“N...Not?”

“Yea. Like… let's talk about… Katya. Who's been having a few issues that relate to her hacker girlfriend.”

“Katya.” The architect parroted after a pause, looking at her lap, her face twitching a little. “Like that ‘friend’ of yours.”

“Yea- _wait, no_!” Sombra put her hands up quickly. “No, I wasn't thinking about - just forget about-- okay, look, okay, let's start over.” She looked up to the ceiling, her fingers wagging frantically as the cogs could be heard turning in her head for a second. “Let's talk about Tasya. Tasya, the architect, and her g-- boyfriend, a hacker. What about that?”

Satya sniffled and blew her nose in the rag before nodding, still not completely sure of whatever Sombra was planning and too tired to think about it.

“Okay so Tasya, she's an architect. She works for a big company named Shkviak or whatever and she's got a shitty boss who also happens to have become blind after a run up with the hacker boyfriend.” Continued Sombra. “One day, she arrives at the boyfriend's house--”

“What's his name?” questioned Satya, still intrigued but undeniably more relaxed by the minute. How does she do **_that_ **?

“His-- uunhh… his name is…” Sombra's face lightened up. “No one knows because he's secretive and cool like that. The entire town respects him, and he watches over it by walking on the rooftops at night, his custom-made cape fluttering and his large hat hiding his face.”

“In that case…” Satya said slowly, a smile creeping in her still swollen face, “... Shouldn't he be known as… ‘Sombrero’?”

Sombra snorted in disbelief, her face showing clearly she wanted to have thought of that herself. She let a grin appear on her face.

“Yea, he's known as Sombrero, _el señor de la noche_.” She continued. “And he's very excited to see Tasya and take her on rooftops with him. They live half a world apart and he misses having her by his side.”

“Does he?” Satya whispered, observing the circles Sombra’s hand drew mindlessly on her thigh.

“Yea, he does. Anyway;” Satya felt the urge to press harder on the interruption, but she _shouldn’t,_ “everything seems perfectly fine to Sombrero. But he suspects it’s not the same to Tasya, is it?”

Satya let out a sigh. Sombra was clever. “No, I don’t believe Tasya is okay.”

“What’s up then?”

“She-- she’s…Tasya is a very complicated person.”

“Why?”

“Because she isn’t too sure about what her feelings are,” continued Satya, balancing her wariness with a newfound wish to talk about her make-believe persona. “She isn’t very good at realizing what others feel either. It doesn’t matter for the most part… but she likes Sombrero and it seems like knowing him more makes her assessment less and less accurate.”

“Mmm,” Sombra frowned slightly. “How does that work?”

“It… she sees mixed signs all the time. And she does not know if those are actually mixed signs, and she misses their meaning. She knows she is not supposed to ask what things mean.”

“Why not?”

“Because she is supposed to know.” Satya concluded, clenching her fist to resist the urge to lift it to her already sore neck again. “She is afraid of making mistakes. Asking too many questions is a mistake. So she assumes the best, and counts her blessings. She really likes Sombrero, otherwise she would not be that anxious.”

A few seconds go by in silence before Sombra muttered, almost inaudibly, “Isn’t being with Sombrero supposed to make her happy?”

“She is happy. She is very happy. It’s just...” Satya frowned, “...she cares about putting up the work to figure things out about them.”

“Mmm.” Sombra nodded curtly, looking down herself, thinking. After several seconds, Satya started wondering if she wasn’t supposed to say anything when the hacker spoke again: “It seems to me like she’s working too hard for nothing. Asking isn’t a mistake. Sombrero likes her that way.”

“It does not seem like he enjoys the interrogation a whole lot.” Satya answered.

“He doesn’t feel the need to, but if Tasya does... then that’s fine. Why would that be an issue?”

“I…” Satya knew what she wanted to say, but she didn’t know how to say it. So she muttered: “I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“Tasya is always under a lot of pressure already. I’m… Sombrero isn’t an expert but being with someone you like isn’t supposed to add to that.” Sombra finally took her hand from Satya’s thigh and put it on her shoulder. Satya turned to her on contact, not ready to meet Sombra’s soft gaze.

“Trust me? On that, at least?”

A chill of affection went down Satya’s spine and spread to the rest of her body, but the knots on the throat were still there. There was something missing still, and she wasn’t sure…

“You need to work less while I’m with you.” she blurted out. There, no filter, obviously _wrong_ . “I mean… I would like you to. I know that is not what you are used to, and I don’t _mind_ you working, but--”

“Okay.”

Satya looked at her. “I beg your pardon?”

“Okay. I didn’t know it was bothering you. I’ll watch it.” Sombra cocked her head. “Can’t promise to not get distracted at times. But you can remind me if I do. And sometimes there are emergencies, and then I’m sorry, those are usually priorities. But not always.”

Satya kept her stare, dumbfounded. That had been… easy. “...Thank you.”

“No problem!” smiled the other woman, fixing a hair strand. “Anything else?”

Satya looked out the window, to the sounds to the town. She felt brave.

“Don't… don't go to sleep without hugging me.” She finally said. “Don't… I like your touch. I can't get enough of you. I know I detest being close to others… But not to you. Please?”

Sombra’s eyes opened wide. “Yea - I mean, yea, sure, it’s just… Okay.”

“Is… is there anything wrong with -”

“No! No no no no!” Sombra shook her head put her hands up, leaning forward to embrace Satya by the shoulders on cue. “It’s just like… you don’t look like you like that a lot. And you can always take the initiative, and touch m -- what, what’s with that face?”

“Nothing. The issue is…” the architect looked down again, trying to smile a little but feeling the words getting garbled again. Sombra gave her a gentle nudge with her nose as an encouragement, placing a quick kiss on her cheek.

“...The issue is… Sombra, don’t you think I would have done that, if… I-I could?”

It was so strange, trying to express that with words. It should have been easy to anyone else, and maybe she should’ve been quiet…

“Oh.” The hacker’s voice had an “a-ha” moment in it. “Ooh. Is it part of that asking thing you were talking about before?”

“Y...yes, more or less.” Satya stuttered, blushing violently. “I am… I’d rather you showed me affection without me requesting it. I am not sure when I should do it.”

“Aww, _mi princesa_ , _mi preciosa_.” Sombra hugged her again, tighter and tighter, peppering every patch of skin she could reach with kisses. “I'll be more affectionate if you want me to, but you can always snuggle me, anytime. Anytime! Any -- Hey, look at me -- I mean it, okay? I love it.” She lifted Satya’s chin and gazed deep into her eyes before kissing her on the lips.

Satya was close to believing her.

“Sombra, do you really _like_ me? All of this is a lot of work.”

Sombra pulled back with unmistakable smiling eyes. “I _do_ like you. I like you _so much_. Like --” Her lips became a fine line, like she wanted to say more, but then she chuckled and shook her head. “Yea, it’s a lot of work, but like - you’re having a lot of work too. We both are. But it’s less and less work with time, and we’ll be okay, ‘coz you like me too.”

“Very much so.”

A red tint spread quickly on Sombra’s face, and she bit her lip before kissing Satya again with a grin, whispering something in Spanish under her breath, again and again. It all seemed genuine to Satya, and she finally relaxed in her lover’s arms.

“I love you.” She muttered against purple hair, because it was true. “You, not Sombrero.” She clarified.

Sombra gasped very faintly, her pulse quickening under her skin. Satya felt more kisses against her neck and hair, growing with intensity at every second, and she didn’t really understand what the fuss was. Still, it was welcome, and she moved her head to give the woman easier access to her skin. She began making out the words Sombra had been repeating as she felt a handful of her hair being pulled, and fingers tracing where the forgotten bruises were supposed to be.

“ _Te quiero tanto.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys i need a hug i'm having a beer is almost the same
> 
> Como el mercado estaba tan lleno, que siquiera era sábado - How full was the market, it wasn't even Saturday  
> Cariño, ¿qué te pasa? - Dear, what's going on?  
> Linda - Pretty  
> el señor de la noche - the lord of the night  
> mi princesa, mi preciosa - my princess, my precious  
> Te quiero tanto - I love you so much*  
> (Spanish has two "kinds" of "I love you". "Te quiero" is more general, "te amo" is romantic and p intense, less common)

**Author's Note:**

> i don't even know i just channelled myself into symmetra here.
> 
> it seems like if you want a thing, you GOTTA DO IT YOURSELF.
> 
> thank you @cantodelcolibri, @TurboToast, ans Seaborn for correcting my botched 1am english if you hadn't i'd have posted it anyway.


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